Why “Grieving In Plain Sight”
Many of you may feel uneasy with the term “Grieving In Plain Sight” because you’ve been taught not to express your loss, grieving should be private, and that you’re supposed to “hide your pain” from public view. Wouldn’t you agree that’s actually what you’re doing every time you leave the safety of your home; while grieving the loss of a loved one?
Could you be one of many people hiding your pain not only from others, but also from yourself; because you’ve hidden your pain deep down inside your heart and soul for so long that “you” have changed? You’re not the “real” person everyone used to know. And, yet, you may not understand “why” people treat you differently. You may be experiencing a feeling of emptiness, depression, lack of inspiration, or less hopeful for a future filled with joy.
I know what it feels like to suddenly stare grief in the face, not only once, but twice, as a mother. I lived what seemed like my entire life in pain; because without even knowing it, the strong emotion of grief affected my life for years in ways I didn’t even realize. Grief stayed with me influencing every emotion, decision, and action I chose for myself as well as for those I love until I finally had no other choice but to begin the journey of not only barely coping, but learning how to “heal” my heart and soul.
I, like many of you, grew up wanting the American Dream that included a house in the country with 2 kids playing in the yard. Life was good and I felt my dream was coming true. I was married, we had a house in the country, our baby boy had just turned two, and I was five months pregnant with his baby sister.
Little did I know that I would receive a lifetime of learning how to become bigger than my pain. My two year old son and I were in a car accident, and my son was ripped from my life by a guardrail going through my car. I survived, and so did my daughter who was nestled safely inside of me, but the devastating loss of my two year old son was emotionally crippling. My dreams were gone, my life was a living hell, our marriage fell apart, and as we divorced, deeply rooted pain from the loss of our son remained with me.
I slowly opened myself up to put my life back together agin. I fell in love, married and gave birth to two more sons. I felt like my life was somewhat normal, and beginning to feel more and more secure with a future like I had always dreamed of. No words can describe the emotions that welled up inside of me when my husband and I were visiting doctor after doctor trying to find out why our youngest son, our baby of twelve months, was ill. Several frightening and exhausting months later our son was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He had cancer, and it was ugly; once again I was struggling to find solace, looking for rainbows.
My life has been filled with unbelievable pain & grief. Finding balance, and a way out of the darkness appeared to me to be a lifetime journey. Much of my journey was alone, and so very hard, but once I climbed out of my personal hell, embraced healing, and began filling my life with memories and moments of great joy; I felt compelled to help others find their way out too.
I never planned on becoming an Author, but I really felt compelled to help people who were around people who were grieving. I wanted to help them know how to comfort, instead of unintentionally hurting people who were grieving. Many people who were grieving began to purchase my book. I received letters and emails from people telling me how much I have helped them through their own journey by giving them the courage to move forward; as well as the knowledge that they are not alone with their feelings.
Then I joined Facebook,and my journey took a radical turn! It is amazing how many people are reaching out for help as well as to help others close to them ease their pain. What I found on facebook was many people needing to talk, to feel that someone understands them, and trying to find a way to hang out and feel better about life for a while. In the beginning I would answer each email and engage in conversations, but quickly I could not keep up, so I followed my heart and created Grief Beach for support.
As I move forward, the next step is an amazing event called Grieving In Plain Sight! The best way I know how to do this is to gather these amazing speakers who share my passion, plan some fun along with the soul healing, and invite you all to come! No one should be alone in their grief, nor spend years in pain before finding inner peace. You have the courage to join us for a weekend surrounded by love, nurturing, support, healing, fun, and celebration as you become Empowered for Healing; Grieving in Plain Sight!
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© Grieving In Plain Sight 2011